Are you not enough?

How often do you feel like you’re not enough?

Not thin enough.  Not attractive enough.  Not smart enough.  Not successful enough.   Not creative enough. Not a good enough parent. Not good enough, in general. 

Feelings and thoughts of not enough-ness seem to run rampant amongst everyone I encounter, even people who seem, on the outside, to have “made it”.  So many of us feel inadequate, like we don’t measure up in some way.   This feeling is a painful one, gnawing at our confidence and sense of self-worth, creating feelings of unworthiness and shame.  

Modern society bombards us with messages and images that feed our sense of not enough-ness.  It’s nearly impossible not to get sucked into the gravitational pull of these subtle and overt messages that have been carefully designed to grab our attention.  

“Be patient and gentle with yourself…”

HSPs can be especially prone to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.  This is because we often feel different, misunderstood, and undervalued.  Since HSPs make up just a small percentage of the population (15-20%), it makes sense that we feel different, but our sensitivity does not detract from our worth.

In truth, each one of us is enough, just as we are.  That’s what I believe, anyway.  It can be incredibly hard to believe and trust in this truth.  We’ve been conditioned otherwise!  

What I’ve observed in myself and in my work with clients, is that it can be really scary to let go of feelings of inadequacy and to trust in our inherent goodness and worth.  We might believe that our self-flagellation propels us forward.  We might worry that without a constant barrage of self-judgment, we would slack off or fail in some way.  

However, the truth is that self-judgment and feelings of inadequacy drain valuable life force energy.  Beating ourselves up and constantly demanding more from ourselves is exhausting.  Embracing our inherent enough-ness allows us to experience more inner peace, joy, and fulfillment.  

Learning to trust in our intrinsic goodness and worth is an ongoing practice.  Be patient and gentle with yourself as you notice the triggers that lead to feelings of inadequacy.  Practice small moments of accepting and loving yourself as you are.  Remind yourself that you are enough, not because of your accomplishments, or how you look, or how much money you make.  You are enough just for being you.